


Ice

by AngelynMoon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Captain America: The First Avenger, Gen, M/M, Sort Of, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25419238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: He was cold before he went into the ice.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

He decides after Peggy leaves, decides that he's done crying, 'I have cried all of my tears.' He thinks as he wipes the wetness from his cheeks, 'Now, all that's left is anger.'

Anger at Hydra for existing, at Bucky fro leaving him, at himself for failing to reach Bucky before he fell and fell and fell, screaming from the train, lost to ice and snow, a cold grave for the one who held his heart, kept it warm in his hands throughout the years, since he'd first offered it expecting only to have it broken and torn apart, instead Bucky had taken his heart and granted him his own to keep warm.

Steve stood up and looked around, swallowing down one last glass of Bucky's favorite and leaving one glassful on the table.

With each step he took away from the ruins he hardened his heart, encased it in the same ice that would surround Bucky for the rest of time and by the time he made it back to base he felt nothing but the ice he'd wrapped around himself.

People said that anger was hot, all fire and smoke but Steve knew true anger was ice and snow, it wasn't passion it was strategic and cutting, it wasn't a hot burn, no, true anger was a cold burn, it was a burn you didn't realize was dangerous or damaging until it was too late.

And it was too late, Steve began to realize as he climbed onto Schmidt's plane, too late for a lot of things, things people had assumed about him and Peggy but she'd only ever been a mask, and him too, she had more important things to do than participate in a romance.

So, he set a course, he made silly little promises to Peggy, promises she knew would never be because of Bucky, but she still cried, because sacrifice deserved tears and he knew she'd go on, she'd be brilliant and better than he was.

She wouldn't let anger guide her to her death as he had.

Steve couldn't help the relief that filled him as the ice met him and the plane began to sink beneath the water.

And as the cold water began to fill the plane Steve lay himself out on the floor of the plane, he felt a small smile cross his lips as he closed his eyes, as the ice cold water wrapped around him and began to solidify, slowly encasing him.

At least he and Bucky shared the same trappings, they would both be forever surrounded by ice and snow, lost to winter's embrace, together in death.

\----

A/n: so... I meant to write something happy for my birthday and an unbirthday present to all of you unless you share my birthdate, I suppose there is still time for that but we'll see.

Sorry, folks.

Happy birthday to me and my fellow birthdate sharers and happy unbirthday to everyone else.

Kudos to those who get the reference here. ;D


	2. Chapter 2

He wakes slowly, a change from his usual, awareness comes slowly, soft like the rays of light that peak in through the curtains.

He's warm, another welcome change, usually he wakes cold and aching, feeling as though the freezing water is still dripping from his skin.

A hand caresses his face, brushing over his cheeks and pushes his hair back from his forehead, a thumb ghosting over his eyelids.

Steve can't help his smile at the familiar touch, at the gentle kiss that is laid on his forehead, his eyelids, his cheek, his lips where they curl slightly upward.

"I know you are awake." The voice of his heart whispers there.

Steve shakes his head slightly, he's not awake, not yet, he's not ready for this dream to vanish like smoke.

"Is that so?" The voice laughs, deep and seductive, familiar lips trailing over his skin, down to taste his neck and pin his hands.

Steve huffs a small sound but still does not open his eyes.

He can the smirk that curls against his skin as the other kisses and whispers sweet words of love into his skin, those same words that had been whispered lifetimes ago, as though those words could grant life where none was, as if they could have healed the sicknesses that once ravaged his body.

They never had but they had always filled Steve with strength and hope, reminding him that his life was not his own, never had been really, just as the other's life belonged to Steve just as much.

"You really going to pretend to sleep, Stevie?" The voice questioned as they lay a kiss over his heart.

"Yes." Steve whispered, "You won't be here when I open my eyes."

There was a long pause as the voice hovered before another kiss was laid over his heart, followed.by one against his lips.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart, I'm here." 

Steve opened his eyes and felt them fill with tears at the sight above him.

Bucky smiled softly and lay his hand against Steve's neck, thumb caressing his pulse point as he pressed his forehead to Steve's. For several moments they merely shared their breath, Bucky gently wiping the tears that escaped Steve's eyes.

"I'm here, sweetheart." Bucky repeated, "You saved me again."

Steve pulled Bucky close, his warmth wrapping around him and melting the remains of ice that had curled around his heart in the night.

Steve felt the steady beat of Bucky's heart beneath his ear as Bucky began to card through his hair, soothing Steve back towards sleep.

Steve felt a small smile curl over his face, he had missed being held in Bucky's arms, missed sleeping there, safe and warm, Steve hoped he wouldn't lose this again, hoped that Bucky kept holding him now and always, even if this was a dream, especially if this was a dream.

\---

A/n: putting this with Ice, you can assume that this takes place sometime after Captain America Winter Soldier where Bucky stays with Steve and Tony helps him recover because Steve asks because Tony's got to have resources and they find out the Bucky killed his parents and yeah Tony gets mad but has Pepper stare at him until he realizes that he can't blame Bucky for what Hydra made him do and maybe Pepper also makes sure that Tony sees Bucky as little as possible until Bucky is a little more stable.

Tony might be a little surprised to discover that Captain America is gay and in love with his best friend turned Hydra assassin and well, he's never actually hears Steve laugh like that or seen his smile light up his eyes so brightly and well, Tony is kind of a sucker for love stories that get happy endings.


End file.
